Things Indians are collectively doing wrong (5/60)

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Things Indians are doing wrong
Things Indians are doing wrong

Not allowing kids to make a choice

  1. Using guilt to push them to behave the way you’d like to. Frequently employing guilt as a tool to make children feel bad. To control their behavior, showing that you are hurt, demanding that they behave in a way that doesn’t hurt you.

  2. When children are manipulated with guilt, they learn to do the same to their parents. They become adept at making parents feel bad. “I knew you’d do this to me, because you don’t treat me like your own.” Not just to parents, children develop into people who are trying to control others’ behavior by making them feel bad about their actions, choices.

  3. Inculcating guilt in them teaches them to experience inner doubt over their choices. Since they face disapproval from you, they wonder, “Am I even doing the right thing, or God will really punish me for this?”

  4. They begin to live their lives not as free-thinking people, but as programmed computers. When a certain way of thinking is enforced on them- the way things have always been, the way it works in this family- they start doing things without thinking about them, without questioning them. This takes their ability to generate original ideas away.

  5. A child who’s manipulated soon learns to disbelieve his own inner voice in the favor of doing what his parents would approve, later turning in to what others would approve. Because his biggest fear is- “what if I end up hurting the other person! I don’t want to be that person!”


A child who is not allowed to make a choice leans to doubt his choices. He stops following his internal lights and becomes a person who simply follows what others do.


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